‘What, Me Worry?’

So, for those of you who don't know - I was in the hospital for two weeks. I had a sizeable portion of my gut removed along with my appendix (a package deal) and now I'm home and favorably on the mend. My little bubble of family and friends are all doing well and thriving.

Alfred E Neumann

With that all in place and good to go, what do you think occurs to me? "What could go wrong next?" Of course, there's the impending hospital and doctor bills, I'm not even including that in my 'check list of doom', instead my mind veers into the arena of world affairs and catastrophes. Of course, there's very little I can do about any of this so my 'predictions' become more of gambling 'bracket of the apocalypse' in which I encourage all of you to participate.

Here's what the paranoid, survival based part of my mind predicts will happen within the next couple of months/years - in no particular order:

1. there will be a major earthquake in and around NYC

2. radical right wing groups will take a midwestern city hostage with demands for cessation of parts of the West from the US. civil war may ensue.

3. our economy will have a major collapse under the weight of an over-bullish stock market and concerns regarding our skyrocketing government debt (thanks Joe 'Roosevelt' Biden)

4. the Mets on the cusp of winning their third World Series Crown with be pre-empted by the aforementioned earth quake.

I could come up with more, but these are items that often bounce around my head when Mr. Lizard Brain tries to take over.

DISCLAIMER: This post is not meant to upset or be by any means serious and I mean no-one harm. If anything, this is a way of venting and exposing how silly our mind works - "things going well? Great! let's think up some savage bad shit to temper our good fortune!"

I’m not sure why this happens, but I have some guesses what triggers this thinking:

• what I was told by my father as God's plan (I was told at a very young age that the world will come to shit and then God will intervene and save the day - more on that in another post);

• my shame-based upbringing - "I don't deserve good things so here's some shit syrup to put on your ice cream";

• my over active mind - though never tested, I'm 99% sure I have ADHD, so when I’m in what one would erroneously call 'idle mode' my mind can jump to negative speculation;

• or my need to protect myself by preparing for what's going to happen next - that, I can call out now, is basically bullshit on my part. If items one or three happen, I'm basically fucked. I don't have that much saved, I don't have survival gear at the ready in my house, etc...

WHO KNOWS???

So what's this all about? I guess I'm saying that yes, "there's a bad moon on the rise"; there always has been in this world. But more to the point, all this speculation and worry robs me of my chance to enjoy the good things that are in my life and that I have a modicum of control over.

So piss off Lizard Brain! go back to your cave and diddle with your ‘dongle of doom’ and please know, I'm not going to listen to you much, of course, except when crossing traffic, using a sharp knife or poking a rabid racoon with a stick - you're pretty useful then.

And please, please I implore you all to make a point of enjoying your lives and be thankful - there are many more of use on this planet that are not fortunate enough have what we we have. So soak it in, live long and prosper and when you can, contribute in some way to the betterment of those less fortunate.

Pastor Houghton - OUT!

Cheers!